God Hates Us AllGod Hates Us All

I’m not Christian, and I’m not religious but sometimes I do wonder if there is a puppeteer that sits and controls the fate of my life, because currently, my life sucks! This whole year in general has been one big disappointment. And once you think you’ve hit rock bottom, guess what happens then? You get screwed over once again. Ah man, if there’s a God he sure likes to bitch slap me from here until fucking eternity.

My year starts up fairly well, my job is moving along nicely and I’m somewhat content. Good friends, good life, good everything. Then I decided it was time to get back to the IT industry and work in the field of expertise I have where my education lies. All good, until the day an acquaintance of mine shows up with a job offer.

The job is going down to Mallorca, Spain to work there in a hotel. I am promised this and that, and go down there with a big smile on my face. Who wouldn’t, knowing that you would be working in the sun for the next seven months? I get down there, nice apartment and lovely scenery. Then the whole thing starts to fall apart, and once the first domino chip falls the rest falls by itself.

I spend half my wages getting back and forth to work, I work only nights, just barely get one day off per week, had to bicker and argue with management to get paid and have no social life at all, because my flatmates work different hours than me. It ends up with me fleeing the country and heading back home.

I get back home and start working a few shifts at the place I used to work prior to me going to Spain. Life is somewhat good, it’s good being back with your loved ones and with people that care for you. But then what happens? Yeah, my lung collapses and leave me in the hospital for two weeks and handicapped for nearly four weeks. On a positive note, I finally quit smoking after having smoked for the last ten years.

Then after two straight blows in my face, I start to get back to life and start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. A friend of mine asks me nicely if I can pull a shift for her since she’s busy getting the stuff out of her apartment before she heads off to Dubai to study there for four years. Well, guess what happens then?

Well, a man comes into the bar and asks if my boss is there, and since he’s gone for the day I say no. He then asks if I can call him up, and I say sure. I lift up the receiver, dial the number and give this guy the phone. I stand right next to him, and eaves on the conversation. He introduces himself as a person from a nightclub right next to our restaurant, and he’s wondering if he can borrow some money cause he’s broken the key to his office safe.

From what I can hear of the conversation, they agree that this is ok so I give him the money. This not being the first time a friend of my boss has come to the restaurant for favours, I don’t hesitate at all. Give him the money, and he says he’ll be back within the evening with the money.

Well, guess who called me today and said that this guy didn’t show up? My boss asked me where the money was. As it turns out, this guy just hung up the phone that I dialled and faked the whole conversation. It ends up with me having to pay back this money as it was my fault and for being an idiot.

Fuck, how gullible can one person be?

God surely hates me.

By Jostein Elvaker Haande

"A free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular" - Adlai Stevenson

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